why limit yourself between choosing between a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? if persephone can be the goddess of spring & queen of the underworld at the same time so can you
- 5 years ago
- 377976
- flawediamondIt's Dick's fault that everybody believes that Bruce is older than them, people expects that if you're the parent figure of a 15 yo you're at least 35 and married.
- unpretty
GOOD POINT
“22 year old puts on bat costume to punch criminals, has no powers” is hard enough to wrap your head around but throw in “24 year old adopts 12 year old who also punches criminals, has no powers” and that is not something that would ever occur to anyone
like OBVIOUSLY batman must be an older man who knows what he’s doing, and not just some traumatized 20-something accidentally collecting traumatized children
haha wow referring to bruce wayne as a 20-something really puts things in perspective. batman: probably actually younger than joey from friends.
- Luna Gattsbee
i am enjoying how completely horrified everyone is by this thought
to elaborate on my preferred timeline it goes:
- orphaned at 12 (consistent with how his ptsd manifests)
- tested out of high school and accepted into yale at 16 (because he is an overachieving type a motherfucker who channels his survivor’s guilt into being The Best)
- spends six years at yale getting a jd/mba and using all his free time to travel the world and learn punches
- ready to take over the family biz at 22
- “hello alfred i am back from yale here are all of my fancy degrees ps i’m going to dress like a bat now good luck talking me out of it i’m technically a lawyer now lol”
- TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD BATMAN. TWENTY-THREE YEAR OLD BATMAN. GOING IT ALONE. IT’S JUST HIM.
- this is probably when he is most nolan-esque because have you ever met a man in his early twenties who thinks it’s his job to save the world
- they’re the fucking worst
- TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD BATMAN MEETS A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO JUST WATCHED HIS PARENTS DIE
- twelve year old mistakenly assumes someone who is 24 is a grownup, no one corrects him
- the fact that either of them survive is a miracle even before you take the night job into account, thank god for alfred or they would probably get scurvy
i told you that just so you would understand how i have justified it when i tell you that this makes Batman during his first year with Robin younger than:
- Joey in season one of Friends
- Everyone in season one of Friends
- Jake Peralta in Brooklyn 99
- Uncle Jesse from Full House
- This guy:
Everything makes sense now.
I always knew Bruce was in his mid 20′s when he took in Dick, but it only now occurred to me while reading this just what that would mean.
I always figured that’s why their relationship was always frustrating to them. It’s a child trying to raise a child. They’re a lot more like brothers than a dad and his son.
THEY’RE LILO AND NANI. OH GOD.
- orphaned at 12 (consistent with how his ptsd manifests)
- 5 years ago
- 21486
Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out
Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..
Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend
Bro: touche…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so you like girls?
Me: yep
Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?
Me: maybe
Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??
____________________________________________________________
Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?
Me: sure… $10?
Bro: okay
Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three
Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….
____________________________________________________________
Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU
____________________________________________________________
Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?
Bro: yeah?
Friend: what’s that?
Bro: basically she’ll date anyone
Friend: think she’ll date me?
Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so…how was narnia?
____________________________________________________________
Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too
Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?
Me: ew no
Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS
____________________________________________________________
Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type
Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type
Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce
____________________________________________________________
Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?
Me: hopefully
Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??
Me: no?
Bro: dammit…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur
Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you
Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!
____________________________________________________________
Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?
Me: what?
Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food
____________________________________________________________
Bro: aw fuck
Me: what?
Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!
Me: no thats okay-
Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???
This is so sweet actually
YOU LIMP LETTUCE
- 5 years ago
- 445101
Holy guacamole and cheddy cheese!
“I mean, that’s not really that impres–JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”
JESUS FUCK
- 5 years ago
- 465617